BREAKING: ANDERSON COOPER DONS BLUE TIGHTS, SAVES WORLD FROM EVIL DR. SCIENTOLOGY

In what sounds to have quickly devolved into yet another guns-a-blazin'-tasty-mancake-anchor-vs-hypno-swirly-eyed-Scientology-flak-showdown, just minutes ago Anderson Cooper had a live 360° interview with representatives of the Church, who amazingly disembarked from their eternal Funship Cruise of Evil™ long enough to grant the twinkley-eyed, hairless, colorless, odorless newsman an interview. We missed it, but a witness IMed a full report:

too long to go into. basically it was just some scientol ranting against therapists and anderson was like, aren't you exagerrating the number of people who get shock treatment and put on drugs, etc. don't most people go with talk therapy etc. Anderson kicked his butt. which isn't saying much considering the scientol came across like a fruitloop

We were barely able to catch our heaving, Anderson-lusting breaths before this second bombshell landed with a thud (or rather an AOLey *bling*):

         well, they just showed a poll that said 61% like tc less now

         after all his antics and only 3% like him more

          There you have it, people. 61% of people who watch Anderson Cooper yelling at Scientologist wackos like Tom Cruise less after his antics. And 3% have hilarious, poll-spoiling senses of humor!!!

UPDATE: A reader informs us that My Super Sweet Sixteen is Anderson's professed favorite show of all time too!!! MARRY US ANDERSON!!!