The Real Wedding Crasher World

You work in a dreary Santa Monica based office, surrounded by paper clip pushing desk meat (ha ha! Kidding guys!). Outside your windows is the Technicolor Oz-like world of the MTV Networks parking lot, where you can often spy a lineup of Pimp My Ride hopefuls ready for their turn in the turd-polishing spotlight. Today, the Emerald Car Park is full not of munchkins, but an army of equally adorable twentysomething hipsters of every race, hairstyle, and shape. Actually, not shape. They must have a no fatties hiring policy at MTV.

So you’re making a nose grease stain against the glass like some sickly violin-practicing kid in a back brace as two massive In n’ Out trucks pull up and a smaller army of decidedly less hip and attractive, but entirely less annoying, In n’ Out kids are handing out Double Doubles like they are going out of style. You notice from your cubicle/perch that there are two security guards at the main entrance, but there is a small wooded area that would be easy to penetrate using some PS2-learned stealth maneuvers.

Question. Do you:

a)      Go for it?

b)    There is no b), sillies. Of course you go for it!

After waiting a while for my Double² (worth every minute), and having downed some of the microbrewed beer on tap (I’m still drunk as I write this, if it makes no sense) the main event got underway. An eating contest! Eight MTV employees went Crazy Legs Konti crazy, stuffing their Real-World-Austin-Story-Editing-Pie holes with as many In N' Outs as they could get in (and in the case of that one Logo-T-shirted female contestant who puked in a bucket, out. To her credit, she kept on eating.) The big winner managed six in the allotted time. Very impressive!

I have a camera phone photo of the event, but there seems to be some technical issues in getting it emailed...so you'll just have to use your minds' eyes. If there's a reader out there who was at the event and could forward me a picture, please do!

Comments

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