American Idol, International Male

Paula Abdul, the Karen Silkwood of California manicure hygiene reform, has proven herself to be a tough little cockroach. She emerged from scandalous accusations of a sexual tryst with a suspiciously cornrowed American Idol contestant largely unscathed. Her show is the undisputable top of the TV crapheap, asking, and getting, unprecendented numbers for a 30-second spot. And now, the sometimes-perky, sometimes-K-holed 43-year old differently-abled-clapper has something to really cheer about: 6'2" of marble-carved mancake!

Paula Abdul has a new man in her life: model Dante Spencer.

Spencer is 6'2", chiseled and at home on the dance floor – no wonder that from the second he met Abdul three months ago, his chances with the American Idol judge looked promising.

"We were salsa dancing in L.A. at a club called Mood on Hollywood Boulevard," says the 30-year-old model. "I saw her and went right up to her. Before I said one word, she turned around and said, 'Who are you?' And it's been great ever since."

...except for one small bump in the road three weeks into the affair, when she again turned to him and said, "Who are you?" But that was quickly cleared up with a few minutes of explanation and a call-in refill from Rite Aid.

But now that rumors have emerged that the couple might even be engaged (last item), we must ask the question: Who is this Dante? And will he be good to our 'so-much-love-to-give' Paula?

For answers, we need only turn to his 'model profile' in the International Male Catalog (aka "Beat-Off-Material-for-Closeted-Gay-Teens-If-You-Can-Get-Passed-the- Nausea-Inducing-Clothes-and-Who-Am-I-Kidding-of-Course-I-Can") website:

"AMBITIONS

The acting bug strikes again! Dante minored in Theater at the University of California at San Diego and is currently taking an acting class in LA, where he resides.

FAVORITE SPORTS
Basketball and baseball, sports he’s favored since his days on the UCSD team.

PETS
Not since Dante’s childhood experience with two pet water turtles. They died the same day he got them. “My mom said I didn’t give them enough love.”

GUILTY PLEASURES
Peanut butter and chocolate. Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups? “Yeah, they’re great.”"

RED FLAG RED FLAG.

Quote. AND I QUOTE:

“My mom said I didn’t give them enough love.”

We can only pray that once Dante is done getting his chocolate in Paula's peanut butter, she won't too suffer a double tortoisecide at his intimacy-shunning hands.

Comments

[phyo]

I love everying

[Feh]

everything but the letter 't'! ha ha! we kid, we kid my little phyo!

[TiN]

nice post

[bryan]

hmmm...